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Hello everyone,
I don't actually know where to start writing my story, I don't want to make it so long that no one will read it, but I am rather well known for my 'long' letters .. but, here goes.
I think my story started in January of 97, my husband (of 26 years ) had eaten some deer meat that I had fixed, and had gotten choked. After that incident.. he noticed his food stuck in his esophagus, but still where he considered his chest area, just a little higher than the center of the chest.. At first , it didn't really bother him a whole lot, he just thought he had eaten too fast or something..
After a while, he kept saying.. Deb,, it seems like the food gets stuck, and I can feel it go down, then I know its safe to take another bite.. so he did that for months, then he became a little worried, and started eating softer foods, they seemed to go down better.. I tried to get him to go to the doctor, but he refused,,, his dad had been diagnosed with prostate cancer, and was not doing good at the time (although the worst was yet to come) He said, "As long as dad is around,,, and sick, I don't want him to know that something might be wrong with me,,,, and I am not going to the doctor. " I begged him to go, and told him that only he and I had to know, whatever was going on, but he was stubborn as a mule, and would not even think about it,,, and he was a 6'3" man, that weighed about 250 pounds so there was no way I could actually make him go..
So, for 6 months, the man ate nothing but, orange roughy fish, and mashed potatoes, and noodles,,, (something that went down relatively easy)
Then in August of 98,, his dad had gotten much worse, and died the 15 th .
From the time of his dads death, until Nov., the 4th.. he had lost 50 pounds, so we knew whatever was happening ,,,, was not good,,,, He had gotten weak as a kitten, but ,,,, mind you, he was still working, at the coal mines.. He didn't work inside but he drove coal trucks for years, and now he was at the tipple,,, so he worked on either an end loader, or bulldozer, pushing coal onto a sludge pond.. He went to work, when he was not able, and on Nov., 4th, he came home from work, and said,,, Deb.. I cant work anymore, I got out of the end loader and it took me 3 tries to get back into it.. I was not surprised, because I had begged him to go to a doctor, way before that ever happened.. I knew he was too weak, to even be working, but he was a persistent man, and worked till he couldn't work any longer.
Anyway, his last day of work, was Nov. 4th,,,,, he went to the doctor, the 9th and we found out he had esophageal cancer the 12th, and he died the 23rd... but,,, it wasn't the cancer that killed him.. I will get to that in just a minute..
He was sooooo weak, that I had to rush him to the hospital, and when we got there,,,,, his blood sugar, had just about bottomed out, it was 44.. They went to probing, and poking, and his stomach really seemed to swell up, that night from all the poking and prodding they did.. The next day they ran tests on him, and told him he had 4-6 months to live, and put him on a morphine drip,,, and that is the only time, I saw fear in the mans eyes,,, he said,,, I am not that bad, am I? They reassured him, it was only a temporary measure, to help him with the pain, from the prodding, and poking, that had caused him to really start hurting.. This was on November the 19th.
He had a tumor that was squeezing off his esophagus, and they told him,,,,, that all the years he kept heartburn and practically lived on Rolaids,,, that scar tissue had built up,. in his esophagus, and had caused the tumor, and it was shutting off his esophagus, thats the reason the food had such a time going down..
Anyway,,,, this was on a Thursday,,, and the following Monday, they were going to put in a metal stent in his esophagus,,, down orally thru his mouth, and that would open his esophagus back up, and then they would proceed with some type of treatment, whatever they deemed necessary.. This was a simple surgery, and one they considered minor surgery, so of course, we didn't think it was a huge deal, we would just take it a day at a time and go from there..Of course, from Thursday to Monday, I could do nothing by cry if someone just looked at me,,, I was heartbroken..
Monday came, and they took him relatively early, and did the surgery.. and we assumed he would be in his room in a few hours, after the anesthesia, etc.,,, wore off.. Well,,, hours went by and I finally had to go to the nurses station and ask,,,,, where is my husband? They said,,,, The doctor needs to talk to you, so I met him and we talked, and he said, they were transferring him to the ICU unit,,, not because he needed to be there, but so they could keep a check on his heart, because his heart rate was around 150 something, (which was way above normal),, so still yet, I didn't think there was anything to worry about, we had just hit a little snag..He did come thru the surgery fine,,, but in recovery ,,,,, something else started happening..
A couple hours went by and I asked to speak with the doctor again, and he came out, and talked to me, and let me go back there to see him, but only for a few mins.. he was in pretty bad shape at the time, but I still did not know, he was maybe dying, just in a little distress, and everything would still be fine..When I looked at the monitor,,, I am sure there were lots of numbers on it,,, but the only number I saw was 158,,, which was his heart-rate..
The doctor came out, in another hour or so, and said, Mrs.Grimes, I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but your husband is deteriorating by the moment,,,, of course, Numb was the only way I could feel, and my heart was still telling me, he was going to be fine, he is just having difficulty right now.. The doctor came back out,,, an hour or so again, and said,,, I am so sorry to be the bearer of such bad news, but we think your husband has had a heart attack and only the bottom part of his heart is working, so at that point,,, I knew things had gone terribly ,,, terribly wrong. This was a minor surgery, how could something like this happen?
Things did deteriorate that evening, and they came out one last time and told me,,,, We are sorry, there is nothing we can do, we have tried everything, and we are bringing him to a room, for you and the family to say goodbye to him.. By the time they reached the room, he had died on the way down the hall.. Imagine, our shock and disbelief when we went in the room and he was gone... It was just the most unbelievable day ever !! So,,,, 3 months after his dad died, from prostate cancer,,, his only child died,,,, from esophageal cancer..His dad was 72,,, he was 49..
Then, 6 months later, I got a computer, and I have no idea how I found it,,, but I found cancer chat in yahoo, and have been there ever since.. I have met some unbelievably wonderful people in that room, and have met numerous ones in person, and they have all been such fantastic people.. I have been there for over 2 years now and I am proud to say,,,,, Its the only chat room I go too..
This story may not help a soul,,,, but its been good for me to get it off my chest,,, a lot of the people in the room have heard it, and know my story, but I am sure there are others that haven't.. Its the greatest bunch of people in the world, in the cancer chat room, and we all share something.. Some of us are just there, to lend a shoulder and be an ear if they need to talk, while to some others, it may very well be their lifeline, where there are people that understand exactly what they are going thru.. I know one thing,,,,, I am blessed,,,,, for having found it,,, its the greatest room ever !!
Thank you for letting me share !!
Oh yeah, one quick note,,,,, I go by dingbat_deb, and most people call me dingy or Deb,,, and one more thing,,, it was not a heart attack,,, I had an autopsy done on him, and it was a pulmonary embolism in his lung, the same thing that happened to pbunda... He died on November 23rd,,,, 1998.