 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Where do I begin...
Having cancer has had a sobering influence on me, my family and friends. No one ever really believes it will happen to them, but as one in three of us already knows, it will and can, and does.
When I was 45 I went to see my GP, because I was going to the toilet far too frequently. I had what in polite terms is phrased, 'a change in bowel habits'. 
The tests confirmed the suspected diagnosis, I had bowel cancer. Treatment was speedy, my operation was the following week, I had a low interior resection, which included a temporary stoma, in May 1994..
A month later, once the bowel had rested, the stoma was removed, however by then a further operation was scheduled , as during a scan, lesions were found on my liver. The liver operation, a right hemi hepatectomy was done in September 1994. Radiotherapy was scheduled to begin in November, and end just before Christmas. As radiotherapy ended, so chemotherapy was to start. However my blood count didn't recover quickly enough, and treatments were postponed. I had shortened treatments then,lasting only on 3 days instead of 5, repeated every 5 weeks or so, instead of 4 weekly.
However through all this I had the support and love of my husband, my parents and family, and truly great friends. I have never felt alone, as i know some do. I have a personal faith in Something bigger than me, bigger than us all. I never felt that I would die, I was not being egotistical, just humble.
During my final checkup with my surgeon, he advised me that as there is a hereditary factor with bowel cancer, and I had been relatively young when diagnosed, (45) my children would need to be tested when they reach the age I was at diagnosis, minus 10 years, in other words when they are 35.
Well now the story gets even more complex !My son is now 30, and I was able to pass all the surgeon's advice on to him, and our GP of course, knows the history.
But, when I was 17, I had a baby girl, who was adopted. I didn't know where she was, or how to pass the information on, what should I do?
I talked to my husband, and to my son. They agreed that I should try to get a message to her, she would be 31, so there was no great urgency to pass on the information. This was just as well, as it took nearly 11 months.
I wrote letters to Social services, and to adoption agencies, eventually I found the one which could help. The Adoption Agency sent a councilor to talk to my husband and me, to make sure of our expectations, and also to ensure that we had no hidden agendas. Once the counselor agreed that we were sound, she passed her report to the Medical Advisor working with the adoption service.
The Medical advisor wrote to my surgeon, who confirmed the need for the medical information to be passed to my daughter. The information was delivered to her by her own GP. I heard from the counselor that the information had been received, and felt thankful. I didn't dare hope for anything more. I kept in touch with the counselor, and she passed information about my health on to my daughter.
In my daughter's life there was upheaval, as she and her husband and her daughter (my grand daughter!) had just moved house. And the little one was hospitalised with a severe reaction to a childhood illness.Following her recovery, her parents took her for a special holiday to Disneyland! So it was a shock to receive the invitation to attend the GP's surgery for the news she needed to hear.
Nearly a year after receiving the information, my daughter contacted the counselor. She wanted to make contact with me.
What followed is now history, we exchanged letters, we talked for hours on the phone, we met! Many of her questions were easily answered, and so were mine!
However I wasn't totally out of the medical woods. During a routine scan, a growth had been discovered near my spine. Further scans and a biopsy were followed by another operation, and a 2 week stay in
hospital. My daughter couldn't visit as she lived in Wales, and I in England, however she phoned everyday. Now she has reached that magic age of 35, and has had her tests. She and her family have moved to Canada
for 3 years, and she knows that she is always loved.
My father died of cancer in 2000, but I am very happy to know that they met before he became ill. He said she was a charming girl, and my Dad never lied to me!So, from all this I guess you can tell what having cancer has meant to me. I have been very ill, and received love and unconditional support from those around me. I found my daughter and gained a son in law and grand daughter. I have learned that although we cannot always control what life throws at us, we can control how we deal with it.
I entered the yahoo cancer chat room to offer support to anyone I can, and draw courage from the stories of others, still facing their biggest battles. I will be 53 next month.