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It is important to take whatever time you need to grieve. Sometimes people have expectations that grief should last only a certain amount of time. Often people find the second year after the loss of a loved one is more difficult because they have less support and are not expecting their grief to last so long. Some people may choose to delay their grief. This is when you intentionally postpone it until later because you are too exhausted and do not have the emotional energy to work through your grief. Generally grief cannot be postponed forever without repercussions to your own health.
There are some predictable stages to grief that were first described by Dr. Kubler-Ross. However, everyone's experience is different. People move back and forth between the stages Dr. Kubler-Ross identified, and it is not at all predictable. You will think you have finished being angry for example, only to find in a couple of months anger has returned. Grieving is a process. You cannot control it, nor can you get through it "as soon as possible." Be patient with yourself as you work through your grief. Tears may well up when you least expect them. They are a sign you are still grieving. Acknowledge your grief and ask yourself "What do I need to do to take care of myself as I work through my grief?"
Abnormal grief is when you cannot come to closure or move on to normal activities. If you find that you are not eating, sleeping, unable to work or do basic tasks around the house, these may be signs of depression. If you find yourself feeling numb, unable to sleep, eat, or able to do your normal activities for weeks or months on end you need to ask your doctor for help.
After the loss of a spouse or family member sometimes people need help for the roles their spouse had. Perhaps they were the one to pay all the bills, did all the cooking, driving, or cleaning. Perhaps you depended on their income. If your loved one received hospice care they have can help you problem-solve some of these issues. On the Patient Advocate Foundation web site at http://data.patientadvocate.org, there is a guide to locate different financial resources for each state. In addition, don't be shy about asking family members, friends, or church members for help. Perhaps you need someone to teach you to drive or how to do some basic cooking. These are all skills friends are usually more than willing to teach.