Homepage > Cancer Support > DSTW Transition Centre - Journey towards end of life > Taking Care of Yourself
There are some basic things cancer patients and caregivers can do to take care of themselves. Eating regular meals, drinking lots of water, and getting enough rest helps the body cope during times of stress. It is also important to take time for fun. Fun is however you define it; it can be going out to do something or spending the day in a different room in the house just for a change. Planning a special or different activity offers something to look forward to. For caregivers, allowing for time away from the patient is a good idea, too.

It is also very important to have support. Support can come from family, friends, people from your faith community, other cancer patients or their families, etc. Having someone with whom you can share your feelings or problem-solve is invaluable. You can find a cancer support group by asking your health care provider or calling a local chapter of the American Cancer Society. Cancer support groups offer patients and their families an opportunity to connect with others going through similar experiences. Usually, a professional leads the support group meetings. Sharing experiences, suggestions and information can be very helpful and personally satisfying, whether you are a newly diagnosed patient, a caregiver or a cancer survivor.

Quiet Time

Finding quiet time or time to still your mind helps reduce stress and can help prepare you for death. Contemplation is described as listening to God as opposed to talking to God. The goal is stilling the mind. Doing contemplation for 15 to 20 minutes every day becomes a special time.

A Contemplation Exercise

Find a quiet place. While either sitting up straight or lying down take several deep breaths, breathing from your abdomen. Try to relax your body and let go of your worries, pain, etc. as you take these deep breaths. Think of something or someone you love and fill your heart with this love. As you exhale sing a word that is important to you. What word might be “God”, “Jesus”, “Hu” which is an ancient name for God, “Ohm”, or any number of words. If you do not believe in God, you can sing “Ah”. Pick whatever feels comfortable or try out several different words. Sing the word for 10 to 15 minutes to help focus the mind. As thoughts come into your head, gently let them go. If you like, you can focus on the inner screen between your eyebrows or you can pose a question silently in your mind as you sing your word. Some people see a white or colored light on their inner screen. Just notice if you see anything. You may not.

After 10 to 15 minutes of singing your word, stop singing and continue to breath deeply in and out in silence. Do this for an additional 5 minutes. During the 5 minutes of silence listen for the answer to your question to come to you and notice if you see or hear anything.

Getting the help you need

There are many sources of help. In addition to family and friends, professionals such as a care manager, social worker, home health nurse, health aide, and hospice team members are all individuals who can help problem-solve or help give care.

Patient advocates also can help. Patient advocates are professionals or volunteers who help assure patients get what is in their best interests; inform patients of their options; advocate for and support their decisions; and help them access the best care available to them. The social worker at your cancer treatment center and your care manager, if you have one, are two professionals who act as your advocate. Many hospitals have people outside your treatment team called patient advocates who advocate for you during your treatment in the hospital. You can also hire a patient advocate. A local chapter of the American Cancer Society can help you locate a volunteer patient advocate if you decide you need one. These services, however, may not be available in all areas.

If you need financial help a social worker where you receive care can help identify local resources for the specific help you need. On the Patient Advocate Foundation web site at http://data.patientadvocate.org there is a guide to help you locate different financial resources available in each state. (USA Only) - UK readers consult your MacMillan Nurse or view their website at http://www.macmillan.org.uk

Signs You Are Overwhelmed
Many people think they should be able to handle what ever comes along in life. Often they do not even consider asking for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Your health care providers will often ask how you and your family are doing. Be honest. They can only offer help if they know you need it. Patients may protect their family while the caregivers focus on the patient and neither realize they themselves are overwhelmed. Here are some signs that you are overwhelmed and need professional help:

Being unable to provide for your basic needs.
If you find that you are not eating, sleeping, unable to work or do basic tasks around the house, you may be depressed. Every now and then people loose sleep or do not have an appetite. However, if it lasts for weeks or months and is not due to a disease or treatments then you need to have help.

Having persistent thoughts of self destruction.
Every now and then people may have thoughts of hurting themselves. However, if you have persistent thoughts of killing yourself you need help. If you find yourself coming up with a plan for committing suicide tell someone, call a national suicide hot-line at 1-800-784-2433 or 1-800-999-9999, go to an emergency room, or dial 911. Please get help.

Having one particular grief reaction for months.
Dr. Kubler-Ross identified stages of the grieving process that people go in and out of as they grieve. However, being angry, in denial, depressed, or having no feelings at all for months at a time indicates you need professional help.

Having a drug or alcohol abuse problem.
 If you have pain, you need to tell your doctor. They will order pain medication so you will be comfortable. Do not worry about becoming addicted to the pain medication. Often people are under-medicated for pain. However, if you are taking medications that have not been prescribed for you, getting the same prescription from different doctors and taking both prescriptions, or using street drugs you need help