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Listening & Understanding Giving Practical Help Looking After Yourself
The last thing a person with cancer needs is for those close to them to become ill. So family and friends have a responsibility to look after themselves. 
That means being fair to yourself and recognising your own limitations. If you are realistic and practical, you can do a lot towards solving problems. If you attempt big gestures and fail, or become ill yourself in the process, you become part of the problem.
So recognise what you cannot do, don't feel guilty about it, and get other people to help.
Most organisations for people with cancer provide support for close family and friends. Local branches, or self-help groups, are particularly suited to giving personalised help. Some health professionals, such as Macmillan nurses, specialise in offering support to the whole family from diagnosis onwards.
Using such 'outsiders' can provide you with:
Information - being armed with facts, and having an idea of what to expect, can make some people feel better Practical, and possibly financial, help/advice Someone professional to talk to, who might help get things into perspective Inevitably, close family and friends of people with cancer feel great strain, and they too should take care not to bottle up their feelings. Sometimes talking to friends can be a help, but many organisations and local groups can also provide a listening ear.
Family and close friends should try and keep physically healthy by getting plenty of rest and eating properly. Sometimes this isn't easy, particularly if you are looking after someone who needs a lot of care at home. But remember that there are organisations which can give you a break, or help with nursing.
Tips for looking after yourself:
Keep your own health appointments, and tell your doctor if you are caring for someone with cancer Eat well - at least one proper meal a day If you feel unwell, get some extra rest and don't put off seeing your doctor Don't hesitate to turn to others for help Try and get a good night's sleep Try and keep up regular gentle exercise - it can be relaxing and give you more energy Try to make time for yourself every day Try and share your feelings - a local carers group may help Try to keep your social life going if you can - at least by phoning people Try and recognise the signs of stress - do you have headaches, insomnia, digestive problems, constant colds? Try relaxation techniques: ask your family doctor for advice Who to ask for help:
Remember you can ask doctors and nurses for advice if you don't know what to do to help a partner or member of your family. You might want to ask about the services provided by counsellors and Macmillan nurses; and Social workers, who can be contacted through the hospital where your friend or relative is being treated, can help in organising services at home, applying for benefits and grants, and providing emotional support.